A good habit gone bad

I’m always worrying about people, Is everyone fine? Do you have a nice time? What’s on your mind? 

Most people would see it as a good habit it means you care about people. But it’s not as great as it seems,cause it takes up all your energy. 

If someone has some issues and don’t know how to handle it I want to be there, I want to be there to listen to take away all the pain. I know you can’t take away everyone’s pain but it would be so nice if you could! 

So you listen to the stories try to be a friend and maybe even try to make some suggestions although you know you’re not god and you can’t always make the right suggestions but you try the best you can. And sometimes it even works but not all the time, not all the time at all. 

Cause when you’re on your bicycle on your way back home after you’ve had a difficult conversation with someone you care about the guilt starts kicking in. You feel sorry for the person you just talked with and you feel so guilty for not taking away the pain.

You try to guess how you would feel in that situation and try to find some similarities in your own life and that’s the moment you feel like you’re worthless. Why are you here if you can’t help other’s? Why are you here if there are people who feel like shit because of you? You might never mend it but you hurt people the way people have hurt the people you care about.

Of course it’s just a negative circle and this way you can make yourself feel more terrible by the minute. 

But isn’t stupid? That although you try to be a good friend en you try to make it right. You never really can? Cause in the end the problem is something everyone has to dissolve for itself.