I fooled myself

I fooled myself

It’s so stupid

I didn’t see it myself..

We broke up about a year ago

And it was heartbreaking..

Somehow I just couldn’t deal with it

Living without you seemed impossible

We met a few times and every time I felt butterflies over and over again

You left to go on a trip

And this seemed to be my opportunity to start over

And I did

I started dating

And I even thought I felt in love again

Stupid cause ofcorse it  was just make believe

He acted like an asshole the way he did before

And I was kind of upset

I didn’t talk to you since you left

But now we did

And I wouldn’t say I’m in love with you

But I do care

I care for you in a way I couldn’t care for anyone else

But it’s good this way.

I miss you

I wish there was a spell who could ,make you forget everything you want to forget

A spell who would take all the hurt away and all the painful things you would like to forget

If I had that spell I could make me forget you died

I could just say to myself you went on a trip to Canada again where you would by a new dog

but this time you wouldn’t go back you would stay there find a beautiful man

who would give you everything you deserve

And I would tell myself to come visit you

and I would think about  you and how lucky you are to live the life you deserve and it would feel good.

I wouldn’t have to miss you

I would write you emails and maybe you won’t answer them

But I will think it’s because you’re to busy or maybe you change your address

I would write you a Christmas card wishing you all the luck in the world

And I would be glad you’re happy

But I can’t write you emails

Or Christmas cards

Cause you’re not here anymore..

What kind of birthday will it be in a few months without you here telling us how big we all are

Without you in your little red car

With your stories about your children

You were the best!

And I still miss you

believe

BELIEVE

Is het je ooit opgavallen dat in het woord 'believe' lie verborgen zit.. 

Ik geloof niet dat totaal toeval is. 

Believe betekent geloven je geloofd in iemand

dat iemand een goed mens is

dat iemand groots zal worden later

dat iemand niet liegt

lie betekent liegen

en typisch genoeg is dat precies wat je het meest pijn kan doen als je geloofd

je geloofd in iemand of ergens in zo heeft iedereen wel iets of iemand.

En als datgene waarin je geloofd een leugen blijkt te zijn dan doet dat pijn.

Maar liegen is zo makkelijk..

Ik bedoel als je eerlijk bent doet iedereen het weleens

soms om bestwil maar soms ook omdat het je gewoon net wat beter uitkomt.

Je doet het niet omdat je iemand wilt kwetsen

je doet het omdat het in je zit.

Je doet iemand het meest pijn

als je de ander laat geloven in een leugen

ook al is het soms voor best wil.

BELIEVE

I know where you sleep

Dit nummer staat al een aantal jaar in mijn lijstje van favorietjes niet alleen omdat de tekst gewoon geniaal is maar ook vooral omdat het zo heerlijk in je hoofd kan blijven zitten en ik ontzettend veel respect heb voor deze zangeres. Nu vond ik de tekst altijd wel mooi..
maar ik heb het nooit aan iemand kunnen koppelen..
nooit aan iemand willen koppelen.
Tot nu wat ik hoorde het nummer weer en jij was de eerste die direct in mijn hoofd opdook...
met je mooie praatjes om alles voor elkaar te krijgen wat je maar wil.
Om met iedereen het bed in te kunnen die ook maar enigzins interesse toont.
Met je mooie gedichten die eigenlijk niet eens zo geweldig zijn, het enige waarom we het mooie gedichten vinden is omdat we de persoon erachter mooi vinden.
Tot we je net iets beter leren kennen.
Ik ben niet gefrustreerd, je moet vooral doen wat je doet.
that's just the way you are.

I know where you sleep

I know
The sickening thoughts that slither around your head
I know
The gluttonous guilt that buried me in your bed
Manipulate me if you can
Go on and fool me like your biggest fan

I know
The arrogant pride that poisons the truth you hear
I know
The bigoted tongue that tears apart all your fear
Pontificate you faded star
Go on and show them who you really are

You can lie to the papers
You can hide from the press
You can fake it on stage
You can crawl from your cage
You can search and destroy
You can kill but depend on it
I know your tainted flesh
I know your filthy soul
I know each trick you played
Whore you laid
Dream you stole
I know the bed in the room in the wall
In the house where you got what you wanted then ruined it all
I know the secrets that you keep
I know where you sleep

I know
The illness behind the image that you create
I know
The tedious need to turn all your love to hate
You poor pathetic paranoid
Is it just me or do you secretly enjoy it?

You can lie to the papers
You can hide from the press
You can fake it on stage
You can crawl from your cage
You can search and destroy
You can kill but depend on it
I know your tainted flesh
I know your filthy soul
I know each trick you played
Whore you laid
Dream you stole
I know the bed in the room in the wall
In the house where you got what you wanted then ruined it all
I know the secrets that you keep
I know where you sleep

(Sleep)
(Sleep)
(Sleep)

You play the victim very well
You build your self-indulgent hell
You wanted someone to understand you
Well, be careful what you wish for because I do
You've got a fancy turn of pharse
You set your trap
You made your plays
You're so fond of games
You must never lose
Funny how the only one in your bed is...Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

You can lie to the papers
You can hide from the press
You can lie to the papers
You can hide from the press
You can lie to the papers
You can hide from the press
Fake
Crawl
Search
Kill!

Oh my god
Oh my god
I touched you
I can never live it down
I can never live it down
God save the queen
I loved you
I can never live it down
I can never live it down
Oh, oh
I fucked you
I can never live it down
I can never live it down
I can ne--ver live it...down

Oh, I know
The sickening thoughts that slither around your head
I know
The gluttonous guilt that buried me in your...bed

You can lie to the papers
You can hide from the press
You can fake it on stage
You can crawl from your cage
You can search and destroy
You can kill but depend on it
I know your tainted flesh
I know your filthy soul
I know each trick you played
Whore you laid
Dream you stole

I know the bed in the room in the wall
In the house where you got what you wanted then ruined it
I know the bed in the room in the wall
In the house where you got what you wanted then ruined it
I know the bed in the room in the wall
In the house where you got what you wanted then ruined it all
I know the secrets that you keep
I know where you sleep

I'm wishing you the best of luck
And by the way
Your poetry sucks

I'm wishing you the best of luck
And by the way
Your poetry sucks

I'm wishing you the best of luck
And by the way
Your poetry sucks

I'm wishing you the best of luck
And by the way
Your poetry sucks

I'm wishing you the best of luck
And by the way

-Emilie Autumn

niets meer

Ik wil je niet missen
Ik wil niet aan je denken
Ik wil niet van je houden
Ik wil niets meer van je

ik vind je leuk

oke..
het zat er opzich wel aan te komen
na ruim een jaar om elkaar heen draaien,
ruzies maken, lachen,en vooral heel veel om elkaar geven ben ik dan toch om
ik kan het wel blijven ontkennen..
en ik moet toegeven dat ik dat graag zou doen
maar ik vind je leuk
heel leuk
het liefst zou ik gewoon de hele dag naar je kijken
kijken hoe je je beweegt
wat je doet
hoe je oogcontact zoekt
ik zie je graag.
En ik weet maar al te goed dat ik hiervan een verschrikkelijk jaloers kreng wordt
maar ik meen het wel
ik wil er voor je zijn als het even niet gaat
ik wil dat je mij opzoekt als je iemand nodig hebt om tegen te praten
ik wil met je lachen
en met je huilen
ik wil je voelen
en samen nieuwe dingen ontdekken
fuck het verleden
natuurlijk nemen we dat met ons mee
maar we hebben hiervan geleerd
en ik wil verder
met jou
ik vind je leuk

stijlicoon

Ik denk dat iedereen wel een stijl idool heeft iemand waarmee je je graag identificeert en waarbij je ergens wel jaloers bent op het uiterlijk. Al is jaloers misschien een groot woord iemand wiens stijl je fucking vet vind en wiens stijl je af en toe probeert over te nemen. Nu weet ik dat dat bij mij niet echt lukt maar ik vind Taylor Momsen helemaal geweldig <3. ik volg al jaren de serie Gossip girl niet alleen omdat ik het gewoon een heerlijke serie vind en stiekem wel hou van alle drama maar ook vooral om telkens weer mode tips op te doen wat is echt hot en wat totally not? maar zeg nou zelf dit is toch vet?

The perfect words

The perfect words never crossed my mind

'Cause there was nothing in there but you

With those words I could have changed everything

I could have told you what you mean to me

We wouldn’t be walking circles around each other

We could be walking together

Holding hands

And just watching where the path would take us

Maybe there will be some hills we have to climb

Or some see’s we have to go through

Maybe we would lose our way

But we would  find it together in the end

There’s only one problem

I don’t have the perfect words

interpretations

I’ve once heard the lyric:  “you’ve got me screaming insecure’

I loved the band but that doesn’t matter right now

I could understand how that must feel

I was on highschool and I was getting to know myself a little bit more

And this search for myself had some up’s and some downs

And that made me really insecure

I always felt like there was nothing I could do

I always seem to mess up big time

I could study as hard as I could

And still get bad grades

I always tried to be the best in everything

And to be honest

I wasn’t good at anything

But hey I found myself

And I’m still figuring myself out a little bit more everyday

But at that moment I think I was the most insecure girl at school

But listening to that same song again I hear the lyrics differently

Sure I still want to be the best and change the world

And make everything better

But now I know I probably won’t

So that doesn’t make me insecure anymore

But knowing that you are out there

Doing your own thing

Probably dating some other girls

Having fun with your friends

Or thinking about me

Telling me sweet things

That’s what makes me insecure

So now I know the feeling

Maybe even more than I did a few years ago.

 

that one life changing kiss

I love stories with a happy end

Oke, to be honest..

Sometimes it makes me sake all those loving couples who are pretending to have the best days of their lives

But what if they really do?

What if you kiss someone and you know that that person is the one you wanna spent the rest of your life with.

It’s a huge step you know..

And I can’t imagine ever being there

But I love to watch people who just felt in love

That first kiss

The holding hands while you’re walking through the most beautiful places

The blushing

The giggling

It’s just so adorable to see

But what if one kiss can change the rest of your life

Isn’t that a bit scary?

It probably is but you just have to deal with it..

I don’t believe or kiss changed the rest of our lives

But maybe just a little

There’s only one thing I know for sure..

And that’s that I really, really, really like to see you soon <3.

those days

Sometimes I have those actions

I do things without even considering the consequences

And I love it

I love moments where I do whatever I want to do

With whoever I want to do it whit

My only problem are my thoughts

They won’t let go of reality when I do something what isn’t totally right

My thoughts bring back memories

Memories of the past or dreams of the future

And because I don’t think about the consequences

It hits me pretty hard when they get me

When I wake up and think of what I did

What I’ve lost

And what I might not should have done

I love my actions at the moment

En sometimes even the day after

But not always

Not at all

But I’m glad I’ve had my actions

I’m glad I make some mistakes

And I have days like this where I could kill myself for my own stupid actions

But I don’t regret it

Not at all